| one day this chalk outline will circle the city |
[13 Aug 2003|12:52pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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the mars volta _ televators |
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woke up at 6:30am. got to the school at 7:40am. got my books, and out of there by 9:30am. here's my schedule:
01_ young adult lit.
02_ chemistry
03_ cont issues lit.
04_ band/lunch
05_ applied math
06_ symphonic band
07_ geometry
they forgot to include painting. -cries- im going to have to fix my schedule when i go to school next wednesday. man did the summer go by ever so fast. my first football game is august 29th. wow. im nervous, and excited at the same time. no, i dont play football, im a fucking band kid. wooot mother fucker! my last year of high school marching band, too. -sigh-
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| i've defected. |
[06 Aug 2003|11:34pm] |
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mood |
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 mellow |
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music |
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the mars volta _ cicatriz esp. |
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hung out with sheila, JJ and dave tonight. we bummed the beach for a good hour. fun times yo. i posted some photos of tonight on my website. check it out.
tomorrow is book pick up. fun? i guess so. hopefully all goes well with my records and shyt. hope they havent found out i live in whiting yet. that would suck, because then i'd have to go to shythole whiting h.s..i dont want to have anything to do with this god-awful town, it's bad enough i live in it already. hah.
my chemical romance is comin the hob aug 30th ((a day before my b-day)) me and kevin are going fo sho. it should be great. thebloodbrothers will be at the metro september 12th, and im really looking forward to that. heeeell fucking yes. they arent headlining, but so fucking what, it should still be great.
much ♥
monica.
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| clik clik bang bang kiss the siamese gun. |
[04 Aug 2003|02:41am] |
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mood |
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tired |
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theblood brothers "siamese gun" |
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so i ditched this livejournal in march, and got hitched to blurty. Hah. i switched thinking it was better..not knowing it was an exact replica of this, with few minor little details changed. but i got used to my blurty, and now im stuck there. so you can go read about my pathetic life there.
@blurty.com/~prettyinpain
maybe i'll bring this livejournal back to life, maybe not.
♥
monica.
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| I'm commited to insecurity and you and love is overrated. it leaves you devistated and ripped in two |
[11 Mar 2003|08:00pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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Descendents - Pep Talk |
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okay day. 1st hour was boring..as usual...2nd hour was a bitch...i swear our computer teacher is getting on my nerves so bad..3rd hour i had a test (gov't), i bet i bombed it like all the others. band sectionals, mr. malik was ridin my ass...agh. guess i didnt like what i wished for eh kevin? lol. 5th hour we finished watching I am Sam...6th hour band was alright..pretty boring..evil ex girlfriend was there...again...she really needs a life. and 7th hour art was boring busy work.
Im kinda pissy right now..why you ask? As if anyone reads this anyways..but my boyfriend called me from the school alittle while ago..god knows why he was there..something about badminton? I dunno...i just dont think it's fair that he can go out whenever the fuck he pleases..but when i wanna go out, he gets mad and stuff, and makes me feel guilty...he can deny it all he wants but that's what ends up usually happening. It's bullshit. But whatever..i'll get over it. I'll just start hangin out with my friends when i feel like it, whatever. No biggie right? Anyways. Enough bitching for one night.
I got my new computer!! *throws confetti* It's great. I ♥ it! It's up in my room...it's not hooked up to the internet yet, but it will, in time. We're workin on it. lol. I get my beautiful new computer desk in 3-6 days now..lol. It's all futuristic looking and metallic, its cool shit man. hehe. Im such a spoiled kid..mwahaha..ahhh. Im listening to AOL radio.."mod punk"....it has some pretty cool bands...some really crappy ones..and some i never even heard of..that reall suck. lol. Im in a writing mood..but i have nothing to write about. Yea...this morning i was in such a horrible mood..every little thing was bothering me..i was on the verge of snapping, but nothing was setting me off..until i seen this girl i realllllllly hate that's home from college er whatever..and i just shouted "OH MY GOD DOES THIS GIRL HAVE A FUCKING LIFE??!?! WHAT A WHORE!!! AHHH!!" And yea...i think she heard me..i dunno..the rest of the hallway did. lol. Ah well. It let my anger out..and gave kevin a good laugh. hehe.
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| The only thing that matters is just following your heart and evenutally you'll get it right. |
[10 Mar 2003|06:01pm] |
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music |
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alkaline trio - this is getting over you |
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2 more days till i get my very own computer!! woo hoo! It's a beautiful, all black, computer, with built in speakers that sound like a regular stereo..cool shit man. hehe. it cost $1,000, my mom and gma are splittin the costs. im gonna get my own phone line, so i'll like, never be offline haha. anywho..
My good friend Matt keeps getting mad cuz i never write about him in my journal..so i will tell you all about him. lol. He's the singer for my boyfriend's band Order of Disorder, pretty soon i will be makin their website. He's in my computer class with me, always makin me laugh with all his weird little sayings that come out of nowhere sometimes..lol. He's a cool person to talk to, he always has something interesting to say. lol.
Well that's enough about matt, he should be happy now. lol.
Happy 9 Months Kevin!! I love you!
Check out my site...i just put up a new layout. later.
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| if i were you, id fucking hate me too. |
[05 Mar 2003|05:41pm] |
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mood |
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distressed |
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music |
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the eyeliners - broke my heart |
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kevin's gonna let me borrow his adobe photoshop! Now i can make a pretty layout for my site! heh. Im also dloading it..let's see which one i get first. lol. Today sucked sorta..people are dumb, and yea..lol. i wish we could all just get along..but that could never happen, because someone is either a bitch, a whore, a jerk, a shit talker, or attention seeker. lol. Im a shit talker. Yep..that's me, and i accept it, it's just how i am, and i dont give a shit what anyone thinks about it.
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| Well if there's one thing that I've learned, my enemies are just as close to me. |
[05 Mar 2003|12:39pm] |
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mood |
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peaceful |
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music |
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nothing. *5th hour* |
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im in general gap for expos writing right now, im suppose to be doing my current event article..but...meh. lol. kevin's right next to me, actually doing his current events.
So me and Tara are on good terms again, we talked last night, and it's all good now. It's good to not have that awkwardness in band anymore. She's a good person..but like everyone in this world..we all have our faults. But anyways.
My piccolo broke...*sniff* *sniff*, so Jill is gonna see if Denise still has her piccolo, and maybe i can use it or something. yep. well...i gotta go do other stuff now.
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| don't ever tell anyone anything or else you'll wind up missing everybody. |
[04 Mar 2003|09:51am] |
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mood |
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drained |
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music |
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nothing. |
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computer class isnt fun anymore. i wanna go home. i wanna burn the school down. the only thing that's worthwhile in my life is kevin..and even though that's a good thing..it's also pretty sad. i just need to get out of this neighborhood. i need to be with friends...i need to move back, closer to everyone. then maybe things will be alittle better.
"There's more to life than being in a band, Your friends are what will matter in the end. I just want the chance to keep those promises I made. There's got to be better way.."
I had another dream again about it. blah. I wish i could just interupt them, or not dream about it at all.
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| I'm trying to believe in you but this world sold its faith for parking lots and drunk sincerity. |
[03 Mar 2003|09:07am] |
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music |
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sick of it all - friends like you |
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sheila is asleep in my room and she wont wake up..so i thought i'd let her be. she came over yesturday around 6, and then joel came over and we went to mcdonalds. we came back...watched legally blonde..sheila rented it. lol. and then walked joel half way to rudy's...came back home, and finished watching the movie. after the movie, we went downstairs, she went online and i watched the ER. She thought it was dumb..but when we went upstairs to watch it some more, she got all into it. lol. No one says no to the ER. it just rocks. So then she put in the south park movie..but we both fell asleep, lol. Now it's morning...and she wont wake up. lol. Kevin is trying to get everything together to take the bus out here. I hope it goes as planned. I miss him. See..we wouldnt have this problem if i lived in burnham! lol.
I keep having these reoccuring dreams about a once good friend..they make me wake up in tears. it sucks man. i dont even know why i dream about it because i dont think about it much, i try to just block it out..but then i have these dreams and it just makes me think about it all. blah. oh well. i guess i deserved what i got. i just wish..nevermind. Does anyone even read this thing? Apparently not.
My dad made breakfast..time to wake sheila up. lol.
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| what's said is done and plain to see, you take it all too seriously |
[02 Mar 2003|03:06pm] |
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mood |
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stressed |
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music |
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the used - on my own |
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so im at this place in life where i gotta make a decision. should i stay out here in whiting..or move back to burnham? Our old landlord called and said if we would still reconsider moving back there..they'd even lower the rent by a hundred, and they just finished remodelling practically everything in the house, and they furnished the attic so it's liveable now. My parents would give me that whole attic for my room. Is that awesome or what? I dunno...i like this house..and the neighborhood is okay..i just need to get to know people. But on the other hand. My old house. Lots of bad memories surrounding it all...but also lots of good ones. I had some good times there with alot of my friends. History was made there...the attic is where kevin first asked me out. It'd be great to go back to it all.
So on another note...im bored at home, with nothing to do. Kevin's too busy to talk to me right now..so i am writing in here. People are still being dumb...like my heading says...'they take it all too seriously'. *sigh*. Im going to work on my site i suppose.
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| Best friends means I pulled the trigger, Best friends means you get what you deserve. |
[01 Mar 2003|09:41pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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taking back sunday - there's no "i" in team. |
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well today was alright. Got to school with plenty of time before kevin's first performance. Him, nick, and steve did a drum solo..it was good. Alot of my other friend's did solo's...it made me wish i signed up to do one..im too scared though..i'll freeze and forget everything..lol. They got a 2 on their performance. good job. That rating scale is 1 to 3...1 being the best. Later on, kevin did his solo performance on the marimba..he got a 1. I was so proud of him. That's my boyfriend. lol. Around 10:40ish, Mr.Mcgrath came, and me and all my fellow jazz players loaded the bus and headed for south suburban college. We did okay...it was kinda boring though. After our performance, we came back to the school..and walked to kevin's. He had band practice..and man..since the last time i went..they got GOOD. I was like...whooaaa man. For only being a band for like a month...they got some good ass original songs. Yep. Yea, in case i never mentioned, lol, my boyfriend's in a band called Order of Disorder with a couple people i know..justin valle (guitar), matt svalina(singer) and nick (bass)...yea i forgot that guy's last name, lol. Kevin's the drummer..obviously. I hung out with them for awhile..took some pictures..listened to them play..and then matt took me home. Now im here...yep. writing my life away online. People are still being cunts..why cant people just ..agh not gonna get into it..dont wanna cause anymore problems than there already is. All i got to say is in lyric-form.
"And I've got a twenty-dollar bill that says you're up late night starting fist fights versus fences in your backyard, Wearing your black eye like a badge of honor, Soaking in sympathy from friends who never loved you nearly half as much as me. Broken down in bars and bathrooms, All I did was what I had to, Don't believe me when I tell you it's just what anyone would do? Take the time to talk about it, Think a lot and live without it. Don't believe me when I tell you? 'It's something unforgivable.' Well I can't regret, can't you just forget it? I started something I couldn't finish, If we go down, we go down together. best friends means, well best friends means. You never knew...well i never told you...Everything I know about breaking hearts I learned from you, it's true. I've never done it with the style and grace you have, But I've made long term plans based on these mistakes. Is this what you call tact? I swear you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back, so let's end this call, and end this conversation, there's nothing worse..I swear, you have no idea, The jealousy that became me thinking..that you always had it way too easy.
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| i make a choice, deep inside..heroin..or suicide? |
[28 Feb 2003|08:37pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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leftover crack - heroin or suicide |
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ahhh...just went for a walk. went to walgreen'ss to buy a camera...but i didnt have enough..and there's this one thingie where you buy a camera for 10 bucks..and get free film for life..so yea im gonna do that in the morning before solo ensemble @ school. After walgreen's i went to the movie store and got Donnie Darko, starring Jake Gellenhaal...*siiigh*. lol. So far, i've seen him in The good Girl, and Bubble Boy. I cant find Lovely and Amazing anywhere! grr. Anywho. So tomorrow i am going to school for the solo ensembles, kevin plays at 8:30 and sometime around 9 with nick and steve..who knows. Im going to cheer him on. I didnt do it this year...too scared...i might do it next year. maybe. SO after that i have to go do a jazz performance @ south suburban college..fun stuff. well, im off to call kevin, and then watch my movie. buh bye.
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| and if you want me back, yer gonna have to ask nicer that that. |
[28 Feb 2003|05:38pm] |
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the used - buried myself alive |
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well ive neglected my lj for far too long, so i changed it's layout and im updating it now. school was good, i was really tired though, i took my depressant pill last night to help me sleep..and i forgot to take the stimulant for the morning...lol. oh well, i'll remember next time. I think im gonna go eat now...i'll write more later.
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| Even though they told you to see is to believe It didnt take you long to know that looks can decieve |
[24 Jan 2003|09:33am] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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"losing streak" ataris. |
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people are dumb. very very dumb. they dont stick to what they believe, and that's bullshit. they say one thing...complain about it mad crazy..then when the time comes to finally speak up for themselves...they change their story. oh man..it's bullshit i tell ya. and im just about sick of it.
Don't give up fighting 'til nothing else stands in your way. Don't give up talking until there's nothing left to say, but no matter what you do. Don't ever compromise what you believe.
That is my motto. and i Will stick to it.
Anyways. im in comp class now. the new teacher is getting on my nerves, she's been giving us notes for two days straight. i miss mrs.zelanik, my old teacher. *sigh* There's a show today...i doubt i can go, got no ride. got no money. Tomorrow is a show @ my school. Kevin's band is playing. im going as their 'groupie', so i can get in free. cuz again, i have no money. You should go to. It's $4 bucks. @ 6:30pm. There's info on my site, under 'shows'. Well, i guess im out i think i'll go work on my site alittle. laters.
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| someone's gonna ask you what it's all about, what are you gonna have to say for yerself? |
[21 Jan 2003|11:48am] |
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mood |
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 pessimistic |
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music |
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"praise chorus" jimmy eat world. |
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wow i havent wrote in this thing in a long ass time....now that i have my site, i just write in there. So yea, no school today, and there wasnt any school yesturday. Tomorrow is a half day, woo hoo new semester, new classes. Anyways. Nothing is new here, went to a show @ clark on saturday, it was pretty good, SKylit ignition is a really good band, i was really suprised. There's another show this saturday..here's some info.
who: Null state, Cuban Missle Crisis, and Mastoid.
where: TF North auditorium
when: Saturday, January 25, 2003
time: dont know yet.
cost: $4 bucks.
That's all i know for now, so yea. go to it, or something. Yea im in a yuky mood, i dont know why. People are just getting to me i guess, and i guess i shouldnt let them, but i do anyways. Maybe it's just pms, lol.
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| ..it seems strange that we could walk through life so blind and how alot of people never change. |
[10 Dec 2002|10:01am] |
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mood |
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 nostalgic |
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music |
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"hey kid" the ataris. |
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im beginning to hate school. not so much school, but the people in it. They're so fucking obnoxious, it's annoying. I seen 8 miles yesturday, that movie was actually pretty good, despite hearing the word fuck about 200+ times...alot of the 'raps' eminem sang were pretty funny. It was a good movie. I seen it at the Hoosier here by my house...i felt like seeing a movie and seeing as how they only have one movie a week, i said what the hell, let's see eminem rap his little white heart out. =)Anyways.
Friday is our school's Christmas concert, i will be playing my flute, yep. It's at 7pm, at TF North, umm..and it's free. Come see me, and the other monica, and umm..some other people.
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| an unacceptable appearance has become a trend, but originality has been brought to an end. |
[04 Dec 2002|09:52am] |
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mood |
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pessimistic |
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music |
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burn this town. |
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busy doing alot of computer work. ive been slackin alot in this class, it's just boring, i know this crap already. We're learning about HTML, and the only thing i've learned that i didnt know how to do this whole time, was how to make a table on a site.
I went to see my grandma yesturday at the hospital, she looked pretty bad, there were IV's all in her neck, and a tube up her nose, and a big gash (covered in a little bandage) on her stomach where they operated...man i almost puked right there. =/ I fuckin hate hospitals. And the people that work there. They're fucking ignorant, well, most of them, They're too rough with their patients, especially the older people...it pisses me off.
Anyways. I havent been to a show in a while. I heard they just werent the same anymore, so i guess im not missing out on anything. It's all just about bands feuding, and people talking shit about each other anyways, it's not about the music anymore, i dont know if it ever was. I know i'll probably get hate messages about this but i dont give a fuck cuz it's the truth.
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| best friends just wont leave yer side. |
[03 Dec 2002|10:05am] |
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mood |
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rejuvenated |
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music |
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nothing. |
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urg, so i got the computer working today but i didnt have time to write cuz i had so much shit to do for computer cladss. I drove yesturday in the cold nasty weather for driver's ed, i did ok, couldve done better. Me and monica are friends again, it's great, i missed her so much and i had no idea she missed me too, she's the best. Im so glad i have her back as a friend now, she was (is) the only one that understands me and could tell when something wasnt wrong, no matter how much i denied it, lol. Yep, so everything's perfect there. My grandma isnt doin good, she got surgery yesturday, =/ she has to stay in the hospital for like a week, god i hate hospitals. All them IV's and needles and poking and probing..*shudders*, yuk. Anyway..me and kevin are doin alot better, it'll be 6 months on the 10th. =D I <3 him.
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[02 Dec 2002|10:17am] |
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damn this computer wouldnt let me on all period...and now i only have 3 minutes left till the bell and i had a whole shit load to say! damn.
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